“I couldn't turn off my own hamster wheel.”
Anna Faris Opens Up About Why She Kept Blaming Herself for Her Son’s Premature Birth
Anna Faris and her ex-husband, Chris Pratt, welcomed their son, Jack, in 2012, seven weeks before his due date. And during a virtual event in May for the Global Alliance to Prevent Prematurity and Stillbirth (GAPPS), the Scary Movie actor opened up about this experience.
“I was 35—a geriatric pregnancy, as my ob-gyn delicately put it—and I had been having what I thought was a pretty amazing pregnancy,” she said, according to E! Online. “So when I woke up in the middle of the night in a small puddle of fluid, I truly didn't have any idea what to do.”
Faris was on bedrest at the hospital for a week before giving birth to Jack seven weeks early. He weighed in at 3 pounds, 10 ounces, and Faris says she was “able to hold him very briefly” before he went to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU).
Eventually, Faris and Pratt were able to take Jack home, and she told attendees at the GAPPS event, “The first years were filled with doctor's appointments, five surgeries, physical therapy, a lot of laughter—because Jack was and is the most adorable, cutest thing I could ever have imagined.”
But when things settled, Faris had more time to think about Jack's premature birth. That's when the spiraling and self-blame started.
“Why did my water break?” she recalls thinking. “I tried to look for answers. I asked my doctor if my dream could have caused my water to break because I remember having a pleasant sensation right before I woke up. She laughed and said no. I asked her if the baby's nails could have torn the sack, I asked her if my sack was lacking something, if I ran too much, if I ran too little. I did gain 60 pounds—I was up to 160, and my doctor suggested at one point that I ease up on maple bars.”
She added, “I couldn't stop searching. I was asking her if the 'geriatric' thing had something to do with it, if the cold cuts that I ate…. I couldn't turn off. I couldn't turn off my own hamster wheel in searching for answers.”
Eventually, though, she realized, “In many of these cases, we have no idea why this happens. And after Jack was born, my dad joined the board of GAPPS, and a few years later I did as well. So GAPPS's number one goal is prevention. And in order to prevent premature births, we need answers.”
Anna Faris and Chris Pratt split in 2018. She's currently engaged to cinematographer Michael Barrett.
This story originally appeared on: Glamour - Author:Christopher Rosa
