Step one: Know when to rest.
How 5 Black Women Are Finding Joy One Year Into the Pandemic
Last summer, I spoke to a handful of Black women who inspired me, and asked them how they were taking care of themselves during what was arguably the most tumultuous time we had ever lived through. Between the protests, the pandemic, and the president, life was a lot—and they spoke to their personal experience while providing self-care tips we could all adopt in one form or another. Six months later, while many of us are still in quarantine, there's a newfound sense of optimism thanks to vaccine efforts and a new administration.
The fight for justice is far from over, but it's important to make space for Black joy during Black History Month and beyond. Life in our shoes can feel heavy, and carving out time for pure, unadulterated happiness is crucial—whether that's your morning cup of coffee, daily gratitude journaling, or virtual catch-ups with those who matter most. I checked in with these women to find out how they're finding joy in the day-to-day, from affirmations to morning rituals and copious amounts of candles.
Ahead, five Black women break down their quests for joy one year into the pandemic.
Kaylah Burton, Social Strategist
How are you, really?After a year in quarantine, I’m fatigued, but still full of gratitude. We’re in what seems like the final stretch of this thing, and I don’t take my health, safety, love, or security for granted. Everyday, we’re one step closer to the finish line and I’m so full of hope and positive expectation for connections, intimacy, and gatherings to come.
During sad or stressful times, I find joy in the sunlight that streams through my Brooklyn apartment, the birds that chirp outside of the bedroom every morning, playing my grandparents hand-me-down vinyls on my record player—these simple joys matter so much to me. While living alone during the darkest early days of the pandemic, it was these small joys that kept me sane and smiling. The littlest things, like watching the tree outside of the bedroom window go from barren in March, to flowering in April, to full and green in May. It helped me get through.
On the power of meditationI picked up the Calm App and started a morning meditation practice, which has been a consistent grounding force for me. Meditation keeps me mindfully checking in with myself, and healthily regulating my emotions. It allows me space for clarity and stillness in such chaotic times. I’ll absolutely be keeping up my mediation practice post-lockdown. I’m so happy it’s a muscle I’m strengthening to turn to in the future. I also do daily affirmations. They help put me in a mindset of abundance that turns the tide on my day from the very start. One of my favorites is “I turn to kindness, joy, gratitude, abundance, love, and forgiveness with ease and excitement.” Another is, “What’s for me is for me, and that's abundance in all of its forms!”
What else brings you joy?As far as objects that bring me joy, I have several. My Essential Oil Diffuser is one of my favorite bedroom essentials. Unlike electronic diffusers, this uses tea light candles and a little oil reservoir to bring aromas into your space. It’s so calming and doubles as decor. Living in a smaller space, I like to go to my Mediation Pad as a destination for my morning meditation. It also serves as additional seating and decor in my living room. I got my partner this weight eye mask, the Nod Pod, but I keep stealing for cat naps. It’s calming, keeps light out, and helps me relax instantly.
AdvertisementMy dutch oven (super affordable!) has become so, so helpful in my never-ending recipe tests and allows me to save space on all the random pots and pans I was storing in my stove. I also got the Insta-famous Always Pan in sage, and the non-stick action is amazing for easy clean-up for those of us without a dishwasher. Above all, my Audio-Technica Vinyl Player is a staple for entertaining (pre-Covid)—and has been a constant source of happiness during quarantine. I also love looking through photo books for pockets of escape during the day. I love Kwame Brathwaite’s “Black Is Beautiful”—it’s a stunning piece with photos and history from the second Harlem Renaissance.
On practicing gratitudeLastly, I highly recommend beginning a daily gratitude practice. About a year before quarantine, I began daily journaling as a suggestion from one of my close friends, Kimber. I list all of the things that I’m grateful for at the beginning of the day. Strengthening this practice prior to Covid made gratitude my default setting, no matter the circumstance, and helped prepare me for whatever life throws my way.
Oil Burner + Tea Light Candle
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Décor Therapy Bench
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Nodpod Gentle-Pressure Sleep Mask
This weighted blanket for the eyes is ideal for unwinding and relaxing after a long day of staring at screens, and the perfect nap accessory this winter. $32Amazon
Always Pan
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Audio-Technica Direct-Drive Professional Turntable
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"Black Is Beautiful" by Kwame Brathwaite
$33AmazonCeCe Olisa, content creator and co-founder of TheCurvyCon
How are you, really?I would say I'm doing really well, but I'm working really hard to be doing really well. I'm committed to my spiritual practice, but it's been a lot of work. I'm not saying things are amazing, but I know the levers to pull when things aren't going well. Sometimes you feel like you're spiraling and you don't know what to do, but I was in therapy for five years consistently, so the fact that the pandemic happened and I didn't have to look to find a therapist was great. You can never be ready for life, but I try to be prepared. Having those support systems or processes in place has helped me to feel like I have somewhere to turn.
On becoming a morning personI'm very committed to my morning routine. There's so much out of our control, but I find that if I can create a beautiful morning each day, the odds of having a good day are exponentially higher. During a time like this, having something to look forward to when you open your eyes can be a game-changer. The number one thing about my morning routine is my journaling practice. I journal three pages every morning, which has been really transformative for me. I don't pick up my phone—it's a cup of coffee, a bathrobe, and a journal, which leads into my meditation and devotion and all that kind of stuff.
AdvertisementIt took me years to become a morning person. I read a book called “The 5 AM Club” and it just seems so overwhelming, so I took it 15 minutes at a time. I started waking up at 7:30 a.m., and gradually shaved off 15 minutes each week to let my body adjust. Having that time is key to my morning routine, which is very precious to me. Your boss doesn't send you an email at 5:00 a.m., unless, of course, I'm your boss.
On finding a creative outletI always told myself I'd reach a personal level of success when I could have flowers in my apartment every week—not because a boy sent them, just because. I've been taking flower arranging classes online, which created this newfound flower practice, which I've really committed myself to. I choose the arrangements throughout the week and do different designs. I have different arrangements in different rooms, even my bathroom. So that's been a new creative outlet to play with and have fun.
On the power of body careI've been really focusing on skin care from the neck-down. I've always spent a lot of time on my face, but lately, I've been really into the décolletage during the Zoom era. It's always nice to talk to my mom about skin care, because she'll tell me what she wishes she'd done more of, or what she's really glad she stuck with. My mom has amazing soft skin, and we were talking about the idea of moisturizing that upper area, moisturizing your arms. As a curvy girl, I've been really passionate about moisturizing the areas of my body that are sort of my “trouble” spots. I have a love-hate relationship with my arms, my inner thighs, my tummy—so I've been moisturizing them like crazy with raw cocoa butter, and my skin on my body has been on another level of softness.
What's the best book you've read lately?“Akata Warrior” by Nnedi Okorafor. It's about this Nigerian girl who discovers she has superpowers. Her and her friends have this secret avengers life. I like that there are Black American characters and Nigerian characters. My dad was born in Nigeria and my mom's Black American. I'm like, “One of my cousins talks like that, and the other one talks like that,” so I kind of embody the book. And I always return to Proberbs 18:16 as an affirmation: “Your gifts will make room for you.”
Bagheera Robe
Akata Warrior by Nnedi Okorafo
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Raw Cocoa Butter
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Lavender Vanilla Shea Body Butter
$28Hanahana BeautyJasmine Marie, founder of Black Girls Breathing
How are you, really?My perspective on life in quarantine is unique. Beyond the isolation and collective grief everyone's experienced, I am also a practitioner who's made space for thousands in a month's time. From corporate sessions to Black Girls Breathing, I've been up close and personal while witnessing and guiding others through this time. I've felt the heaviness of the grief and trauma experienced in the Black community in my breathing sessions and my inbox. It's not just a statistic for us. They're real-life stories and community members who've been impacted by losing loved ones, jobs, and hope. I've also experienced loss from Covid, compacting grief from loss in the past year—all while being the CEO of a rapidly growing startup. It's been a lot. Everyone is going through so much. But as someone constantly sought after for guidance on how to get through, I've asked myself many times, "But what about me?"
What are simple joys you turn to during sad or stressful times?To be honest, I'm rediscovering all of these. A lot of the ways I found joy (taking a walk in the park, picking up my favorite meal, anything that helped me decompress outside of my home) in hindsight depended on me feeling safe. I'm currently navigating what safety feels and looks like to me after surviving an attempted carjacking a few weeks ago. It happened while I was out shopping for candles (another favorite thing I do to shift my mood). So right now, I'm figuring that out. In the meantime, I'm finding mood boosts in Curb Your Enthusiasm and hot coffee in my favorite new mugs I got from West Elm, plus the Honey Vanilla Oat Latte from my local cafe, The Daily Dose. My go-to mantra is, “You're doing your best, babe.” And any time I find the space to skip outside, I do it. Skipping is an instant joy booster.
Brisa Mug
$21West Elm
Canopy
$36OtherlandDanielle Coke, designer, illustrator, and social media strategist
How are you, really?I’m doing better, that’s for sure. Incorporating rhythms of rest in my daily routine has definitely helped me fight burnout and spend more time taking care of myself and my wellbeing!
On getting artsy with your handsOne simple joy has been finding more ways to use my hands to create. As a digital artist, it can be hard to dedicate time for physically making art, so I’m always so excited when I can set aside moments for painting, scrapbooking, putting puzzles together, or even building things.
On reading as self careOne of the biggest self-care rituals would probably be reading more regularly. I always told myself that I’d read more if I had more time, and I’ve found that reading books about inspiration or self-improvement help me to process mental challenges so much easier. I’m going to also get into reading fiction for fun. I’m currently reading “The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry” by John Mark Comer and it is completely redefining what rest means to me and how to stay mentally/emotionally healthy in a chaotic world. It’s one of my faves!
What about skin care?I started seeing an esthetician for the first time late last year, and starting an actual skin care routine has been so incredible for me. I’ve been using practically the entire Cosmedix line and I can already feel a huge difference in my skin. It also adds a sense of comfort and normalcy to have a regular routine to wind down with at the end of the day.
What are simple joys you turn to during sad or stressful times?The best kind of joy doesn’t sway with our circumstances. It helps us stay grounded and is a safe place to retreat to when life gets hard. No matter how small, discover rhythms of rest and regular moments of joy each day! My favorite quote is from “Our Deepest Fear” by Marianne Williamson, and I’ve been clinging to the last two lines in particular: “And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated by our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” I aim to be my truest self at all times, and I hope that it can be a source of inspiration for others!
Clarifying & Cleansing Starter Kit
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"The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry" by John Mark Comer
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How are you, really?I feel very free! Zero constraints with more room to grow and truly be myself. It's been a journey to get here (a serious journey), but this feeling is something I’d like to hold onto forever. One day I would like to look back at this time in my life and smile.
What are simple joys you turn to during sad or stressful times?Music! Music makes me so happy; it shapes my day. Also, it's crazy what a good conversation with a friend can do to get you back on track to feeling like your best self.
On listening to your bodyI listen to my body and napping when I want to nap, and try not to push myself so hard. I don't know if I'll be able to keep the napping around too long, but I will absolutely keep listening to my body. If I'm hungry, I will eat. No more punishing myself. I'm much happier this way. Lately, I've been making veggie stock; it's my Sunday ritual. I find it so soothing. It's also super easy to make and a great way to be more sustainable. Little things like this make me a happier person.
On affirmations and making the day countI tell myself “I love you, you're so smart, fun, and worthy” every day in the mirror. Mainly because I'm constantly talking to myself and also because it makes me feel good. I think just taking time to take care of yourself is a great way to get on that path to self joy. Whatever is not giving you joy get rid of it. This goes for friends, too. If they aren't pushing you to be the best version of yourself then they're not for you. When you wake up, it's just you and the world. Every single day is literally a brand new day so make the day count.
Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi
$14AmazonThis story originally appeared on: Glamour - Author:Erin Parker
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